Marriages in the bygone era had male dominance. This continued for quite some time until the idea of women’s liberation and empowerment surfaced.
Today, we live in times when women not only walk shoulder to shoulder with men, but some even manage to get ahead. Such is the scenario even in some marriages. Female-led marriages are common today.
In such marriages, the wives dominate their husbands. They control the household, have their own rules, and do as they wish. Doing something they wish is alright, but such wives also make their husbands dance according to their whims and fancies.
Such wife dominated marriages exist in our society. In most cases, you might never know who dominates who as the couple appears quite cordial in society. In some other cases, the dominance is quite evident in public too.
It is surprising to think about how the world has changed today and women have evolved to such extents that there are marriages where wives ’ dominance is greater than the husband’s.
An ideal marriage is one in which both the partners have an equal say and respect each other’s opinions. But in some cases, men are benefited by wife led marriages as they consider themselves to be weak to take important decisions.
Unfortunately, in some other marriages, the husbands are not happy with their wives ’ controlling attitude and they often end up in a divorce. In this article, we shall throw light on certain aspects of a female-led marriage.
Why Some Wives Like To Dominate
How some women get the intention to dominate their partners comes from their backgrounds and past events. Here are some possible reasons why some women want to rule over men:
- Abusive Childhood
Women who have had an abusive childhood or have seen their fathers dominating their mothers decide since then that they are not going to suffer the same. They knowingly or unknowingly start dominating their husbands to prevent them from controlling them. This is a natural behavior that comes out of past vengeance.
- Hatred Towards Men
Some women have encountered bad experiences with men. They start controlling all the men who come in their lives out of deep-rooted hatred. Even if their current partners are good, they hold a tendency to control them. It gives them a feeling of superiority of men and makes them happy.
- Wish to Feel Superior
Some women have a deep-rooted desire to be a control-freak. Such women do not only control their husbands, but they also control their children, parents, and other people in their lives. They have a desire to be the supreme and believe that they are always right. They feel that everyone should follow their orders and take their suggestions.
- Wish To Control Husband in a good and protective way
Some women-led relationships are harbored out of good intentions. When a woman feels that her husband is too naïve and she is too stoic, she feels that she should take the lead. She cares too much for her sweet husband and controls him to protect him. She does not want him to fall prey to scheming people and hence tends to control him in the relationship.
Rules Of A Female Led Marriage
What happens in a marriage where the wife dominates? What exactly is wife domination? What is the extent of controlling? Here are some pointers that will explain to you how a wife controls her husband in the marriage.
- No Sex on demand. Practice Chastity
Such wives do not agree with sex easily. They are not easy to bed. They allow their husbands to touch them only on special occasions. They believe that men should practice chastity most of the time. Such men will then also not want to get into extramarital affairs. Basically, they do not want to think of sex as an important factor in a marriage and also want their husbands to stop thinking of physical intimacy.
- Man Does More Chores Than The Wife
In a female-led marriage, the wife is always ordering the husband to do the household chores. The man goes to the office and then helps his wife with the dishes, cooking, and cleaning. The man does not have a say and cannot demand that the wife should split the workload equally. When they do voice their opinions, it only leads to a fight.
- Wife’s Parents Are Very Important
Whether the wife gives importance to the husband’s parents or not, her parents are a top priority. She meets them and calls them over to stay whenever she feels like. She expects her partner to respect her parents in the same way. Such wives are also often rude to the husband’s parents.
- Her Wishes Should Come First
She would always throw a tantrum if her wishes are not fulfilled. Such wives expect their husbands to fulfill all their wishes as a top priority.
- Toilet Seat Must Always Be Down
Well, this is a good rule in any kind of marriage. But in a female-led marriage, this one is the golden rule. The husband dare not disobey this one, else all hell might break loose.
- You Have To Earn Your Orgasm
Sex is only allowed if the husband has done something really special for the wife. He has to earn it with a loving or caring gesture.
- Be Ready For Rewards and Punishments
In a wife led marriage, the wife often punishes and rewards her husband. The husband meekly agrees to not getting breakfast for a week or having to sleep on the couch for a week if he has displeased her in some way.
- No Watching Porn
Porn is out of the question. Such controlling wives will never let husbands watch porn or will never watch it together with them too. They feel it is a way of cheating.
- Not Allowed To Go For Boys Night Out
The wife’s dominance over your outings is also observed. The husband can go out with his boyfriends only if the wife allows. They only go out together as a couple or family.
- Share Kid’s Responsibilities
Kids are not only a wife’s responsibility. But often, in such marriages, the husband is seen tending to the kids all the time.
- Husband Cooks and Cleans Too
It is an ideal settlement in a marriage when the husband cooks and cleans together. But it gets too much if the husband is expected to do this alone all the time.
- Wife Knows About Your Finances
The husband cannot hide financial matters and other such important factors from the wife. She has to know it all and often orders the husband to do as she says.
Where Does The Female Led Marriage Lead?
This kind of marriage settlement is not always good. Wives need to give some space to their husbands as well. A dominating wife could ruin her own marriage. Here are the negative side-effects of a female-led marriage:
- The husband feels like a mother hen is always sitting on his head
- The man tries to sneak out many times by speaking lies
- It breaks the trust and bonding
- It can lead to divorce or extramarital affairs too.
- The husband feels suffocated and out of love in such a relationship.
Not All Is Bad About A Female Led Marriage
In a random interview, we found that not all men have a problem of being dominated by their wives. In fact, they are happy to be in a female-led marriage.
They feel that women have better insights and are better in planning finances.
Such husbands are happy to meekly follow whatever their wife orders them to.
There are some other men who disclosed a secret. They said that they enjoyed being dominated by their wives. They did it to pamper their wives and to make them feel superior. They feel a happy house is where the wife is happy.
They had no issues in following their partner’s instructions as they believed that she is always right. But again, there are two sides to this too. Such men trust their wives to take all the decisions because they know deep within that their wives are smarter.
In marriages where women are not so smart and yet dominate their husbands, it could lead to chaos and problems.
Female-led marriage is not always bad. Some men make their women dominate them a little bit on purpose. It makes their wives feel happy and empowering. And they feel happy when their wives are happy. But this case is one of a mutual agreement and no one has any problems with this settlement.
It is natural for a wife to sometimes go over the top. But if this attitude disturbs the husband, the controlling behavior can be reduced after a proper discussion. What is a marriage bond after all if two partners cannot sit and discuss their problems with each other?
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, goes the famous saying. Sensible people learn how to strike a balance in their relationships.
Are you in a similar situation? Do you feel you are stuck in a female-led marriage or do you feel you enjoy being dominated by your wife? Do let us know your views and we will take the discussion forward.