Family life has never been easy for many. There are a lot of bumps on the road causing family issues that could get worse when not mended immediately.
Life is painful. You will start to question what family means and how solid the foundation you’ve built together.
However, you should bear in mind that everything can be fixed if you just allow love and understanding to flow in the veins of one another.
Remember that no family in this world has no problems.
No matter how much money your family makes every day, no matter how positive and happy your way of thinking is, problems will still arise.
Problems are part of our life. You can’t stop them from coming that will create chaos in your family life.
As time goes by, you will experience how small problems like your kids getting spoiled or being disrespectful to you will go big and uncontrollable.
The demands of every family member get harder to achieve as they grow older.
And sometimes, they do have their own beliefs that are way too different from yours.
It is the starting point of how family issues arise over time. With this being said, you have to act now and do something if you badly want to solve family issues successfully.
We’ve compiled them all for you so that you come handy in making your family life better than before!
1. Cooldown before discussing things
None of you must be angry when you try to tackle things to fix it.
During a heated argument, it is expected that emotions are high.
That’s why the exchanging of hurtful words are present.
That’s the reason why it is important to discuss things right after a day or two.
Emotions are believed to subside once they are calm.
In this way, you are saving the whole family from arguing more and throwing words that aren’t meant.
Time heals all wounds, or so they say. It doesn’t have to take long.
Wait for everyone to calm down then start discussing things in the best situation.
There is a family with problems that weren’t able to successfully fix it because they have not to step back and wait for things to cool down.
If you insist on talking about it while the other party is still upset, then you are not saving your family from the chaos that life throws at you.
2. Learn to listen
It is totally okay to vent out how you feel. However, you should learn to listen to the other side of the story.
You won’t be able to understand what the problem is if you remain one-sided to what you already know.
It may be hard to believe what they are about to say to you because you have taken your stand already about the issue, but it is through listening where you can genuinely acknowledge who’s right or wrong.
Since emotions are high in every argument, you might be missing some parts where you misunderstood things.
Listening to each other without any interruptions is a big step you can take on if you want to fix the family issue you’re involved in.
3. Figure out the issue
Once every member of the family is calm, you can now start figuring out what could go wrong.
Make sure to trace everything that’s been said in the argument so you would be able to pinpoint the root cause of the problem.
Maybe one of you is stressed out with her personal problems in life, that’s why she was not able to hold back all her emotions.
The second step mentioned above is a vital key for you not to assume things.
Before you end up with a conclusion, make sure you have listened to the parties involved.
For example, the other party is the financial provider of the family. Just because she is successful in life, it doesn’t mean that she is happy and content with what she has.
Maybe she is struggling with her career too, or she is sacrificing her wants just to provide you with your needs.
It takes a lot of analysis to work things out for the betterment of each member involved.
Once you know the two sides of the story, you should go in between. One may be right, and the other is not, but the real enemy here is the problem that you should solve together.
4. Talk about your side of the story.
When it is your time to talk, lay down all the reasons why you feel upset.
Family issues can only be resolved if you are also willing to share the things that are bothering you.
Take part because that is what family means. Everyone must be involved in the conversation so that no one will be left out.
It worsens things if you only plan with some members because the other party might think you are only fixing the problem without considering their side.
Acknowledge the things that you did and own it by so that everything you say is stated with pure honesty.
However, you should bear in mind not to raise your voice so the same argument won’t happen again. Even if it is not your fault, you should stay humble and avoid accusing other people.
For example, you can start by apologizing for the things you’ve done or said before you finally tell them why you execute such actions.
If you are going to address a message, keep your cool so that you won’t be able to say hurtful words that will only ruin everything.
It doesn’t matter if the other person involved doesn’t want to acknowledge his faults.
As long as you are ready to fix things, he will automatically admit his wrongdoings once you confess yours.
5. Stop bringing up past issues.
This is the main reason why a lot of family issues worsen over time.
Instead of fixing it, you bring up past issues that will add more fuel to fire. Focus on the issue.
Leave the past behind and see what you can do to resolve the current problem.
Bringing up past issues will only mislead you to the root cause of the problem, making it impossible to end it finally.
You should be careful with the choices of words you share with them.
Instead of accusing, speak of a language that will remind your family about how much you truly love them.
Let the negativity stay where it ended so that you can avoid hurting others more.
If you accept the fact that you have your fair share of mistakes, it just means that you value your family more than the issue that you are facing.
6. Focus on reconciliation than winning your side
For you to fix the family issue, no one should win. The main goal here is to reconcile and not to win your side over others.
- You should stop your mindset of waiting for people to say sorry to you before you can finally forgive them.
- You should aim to win together by making sure that everyone is in one motion for a better relationship in the future.
- You should be competitive enough to win a conversation but rather put yourself as a puzzle who can never be complete without the other.
- You are a team, and you don’t compete with your teammates, right?
- You need to accept the fact that it’s not your nor her who’s going to say sorry at the end.
Both parties must learn to see the point of why accepting mistakes is a beautiful plan for everyone to be happy at the end of the day.
You can plan some family date ideas that will break the ice or the awkwardness you feel towards each other.
In this way, you are making a stronger bond that is better than before. Just be careful not to choose the activities that can ignite another problem inside your home.
It may be difficult to forgive once you have received the most painful words from the people you loved the most, but remember that your family is the most deserving person to forgive.
Whatever happens to your life, your family will always be the one you can run to anytime and anywhere.
So, make sure you won’t lose the foundation you once built just because of an issue you think you can’t fix.
You have to let go of the pain and not think of anything less but the promise of a better relationship in the future. No one is perfect, and that includes you.
So, making mistakes is everyone’s human nature. Furthermore, forgiveness is one of the most important things in life that you should learn.
8. Decide together on what to do to solve the problem
Once you have talked about how each member feels, you will no longer be labeled as a family with problems.
Because your next step would be how to adjust things in order for everyone to heal.
You should choose the option suggested which can benefit everybody.
However, if you can’t seem to fix things since the problem is too deep to resolve, you can always ask for help from a professional that will do family counseling.
9. Preventive measures
Think of the things that will help you avoid family issues from happening again.
Now that you have learned to communicate your feelings, it is also important to be sensitive. Aging is a hard process for everyone, and there is no right way to settle your affairs.
Be sure to be patient and kind when discussing matters such as housing, diet, exercise, or driving. This way, elderly family members are more likely to come to compromises with their children or other relatives.
It may be hard to belong to a family with problems, but that is always part of the deal that you have to undergo as a family.
Make sure that you only count the happy things instead of the ugly ones so that you can have a life well-lived.
You will only have one family in this lifetime. So, make sure you don’t neglect to love them because that is what family means and should be for all of us!